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OBM Neurobiology

(ISSN 2573-4407)

OBM Neurobiology is an international peer-reviewed Open Access journal published quarterly online by LIDSEN Publishing Inc. By design, the scope of OBM Neurobiology is broad, so as to reflect the multidisciplinary nature of the field of Neurobiology that interfaces biology with the fundamental and clinical neurosciences. As such, OBM Neurobiology embraces rigorous multidisciplinary investigations into the form and function of neurons and glia that make up the nervous system, either individually or in ensemble, in health or disease. OBM Neurobiology welcomes original contributions that employ a combination of molecular, cellular, systems and behavioral approaches to report novel neuroanatomical, neuropharmacological, neurophysiological and neurobehavioral findings related to the following aspects of the nervous system: Signal Transduction and Neurotransmission; Neural Circuits and Systems Neurobiology; Nervous System Development and Aging; Neurobiology of Nervous System Diseases (e.g., Developmental Brain Disorders; Neurodegenerative Disorders).

OBM Neurobiology publishes a variety of article types (Original Research, Review, Communication, Opinion, Comment, Conference Report, Technical Note, Book Review, etc.). Although the OBM Neurobiology Editorial Board encourages authors to be succinct, there is no restriction on the length of the papers. Authors should present their results in as much detail as possible, as reviewers are encouraged to emphasize scientific rigor and reproducibility.

Publication Speed (median values for papers published in 2024): Submission to First Decision: 7.6 weeks; Submission to Acceptance: 13.6 weeks; Acceptance to Publication: 6 days (1-2 days of FREE language polishing included)

Current Issue: 2025  Archive: 2024 2023 2022 2021 2020 2019 2018 2017
Open Access Commentary

Loneliness, Love and Their Connection: A Commentary

Ami Rokach *

  1. York University, Toronto, Ontario, Canada

* Correspondence: Ami Rokach

Academic Editor: Anna-Rita Atti

Special Issue: Perspectives on Social Isolation, Emotional Resilience, and Stress

Received: August 24, 2025 | Accepted: November 18, 2025 | Published: November 25, 2025

OBM Neurobiology 2025, Volume 9, Issue 4, doi:10.21926/obm.neurobiol.2504312

Recommended citation: Rokach A. Loneliness, Love and Their Connection: A Commentary. OBM Neurobiology 2025; 9(4): 312; doi:10.21926/obm.neurobiol.2504312.

© 2025 by the authors. This is an open access article distributed under the conditions of the Creative Commons by Attribution License, which permits unrestricted use, distribution, and reproduction in any medium or format, provided the original work is correctly cited.

Abstract

A significant social stigma is associated with loneliness. The prevalence of social isolation, in the dawn of the 21st century points to the growing isolation in America. Lonely people who commonly display negative self-perceptions, show great difficulty to establish social ties, and that may be related to their personal inadequacies, or socially undesirable attributes. Lonely people suffer from a low social perception, painting them as less psychologically adjusted, and not very capable in relating to others. That is being expressed in such indicators as social networks which are smaller and sometimes do not exist at all. This commentary, briefly, reviews the nature of loneliness, how is love related to isolation, and the myriad of approaches to address loneliness and its pain.

Keywords

Loneliness; love; isolation; relationships; intimacy

1. The Nature of Loneliness

Loneliness was found to be associated with increased mortality risk and depressive symptoms [1], but was also observed to affect the lonely physiologically, physically, and neurologically. It was found to be correlated with a compromised immune system, heightened blood pressure, increased inflammation, and even hasten the development of Alzheimer’s disease [2,3,4,5]. Loneliness carries a significant social stigma and is seen as undesirable. Lonely people who commonly display negative self-perceptions, show great difficulty to establish social ties, and that may be related to their personal inadequacies, or socially undesirable attributes ([6]; see also [7]). “Lonely people are perceived as less psychologically adjusted, less achieving, and less intellectually competent in relating to others” ([6]; p. 187). The prevalence of social isolation points to the growing loneliness in America. Unfortunately, there are more and more people who have no one in whom they can confide, resulting in an increasingly fragmented society [8,9].

2. The Role of Technology

While technology was meant to makes it easier for people to develop social intercourse, it seems that instead it replaces the day-to-day human interactions, and there is a negative correlation between the creased use of the Internet and one’s smaller social support and feeling of fulfillment [10]. Ornish [11] echoed those findings by so astutely observing that “at their best, e-mail and chat rooms can be another way of staying in touch and keeping up with loved ones who may be thousands of miles away in real space but instantly available in cyberspace. All too often, however, technology provides a way of numbing loneliness without experiencing real intimacy” (p. 100-101). It was observed that people who lack intimacy in their lives, risk experiencing all kinds of health problems, loneliness and mortality [12]. People who are in happy partnerships lead better and healthier lives, but it also revealed that being in a relationship seems to be better than being completely alone, though those in unsatisfying relationships are more amenable to loneliness, depression, alcoholism or eating disorders [13].

3. The Dynamics of Love

“I used to feel loved because I was special. Now, I feel special because I am loved and because I can love” ([11]; p. 91)

What is love? That is a question that is probably as old as humanity. Writers, philosophers, and lately psychologists have attempted to describe and capture its meaning. It appears that in the past half century social scientists have shown interest in researching and writing about love [14,15].

“What ‘tis to love?” asked Shakespeare in ‘As you like it’ (in [16]; p. 87). And, indeed, since the time of the ancient Greeks till the present, we can find a multitude of theories that aimed at describing and explaining love; that emotion that as the saying goes “we know when we feel it” but are hard pressed to define [16].

3.1 The Interconnection of Love and Loneliness: Love can Wear Out

Rokach [17,18] observed that being in a love relationship, there is an expectation that we will be cared for, share experiences with our loved one, and fill fulfilled, though it could also be terribly lonely. Love and loneliness usually are not supposed to go hand in hand, but many times they do. How can someone who is loved feel lonely?!

Love and relationships can be harmed and damaged, not only by the passage of time, but also as a result of hurt feelings, jealousy, lying and betrayal [19,20]. It is natural, for us, to want to be loved by our intimate partners, and we harbor the hope that our relational value – meaning how valuable is our intimacy perceived by our partner, is as valuable as we perceive it to be. Needless to say that it is painful if, for our partner, our relational value is lower than we would hope it to be. “Psychological wounds can cause real distress, and the sense of injury that characterizes hurt feelings - the feeling that relationship rules have been broken and that one has been damaged, shattered, cut or stabbed - makes hurt feelings a distinct emotional experience” ([13]; p. 309). Ostracism may be experienced in a close relationship when one’s partner offers a ‘cold shoulder’ to their intimate partner. It is a way of punishing one’s partner for pain caused or a disappointment occurring. Shunning can be very painful, as it contradicts our need for social inclusion, and may be perceived as dehumanizing [21]. When partners in intimate relationships are faced with situations in which they feel that they do not belong and they thus feel alienated, they may either increase their attempts to regain their partner’s regard, or start looking somewhere else [13,22].

3.2 Addressing Loneliness

Loneliness may, at last, start now to come out of the closet. As we become more aware of the risks of loneliness to mental and physical health, researchers have begun to explore interventions and programs geared to address loneliness [23]. A review of attempts to address loneliness, by Cacioppo et al. [24] indicated that “Increased recognition of loneliness as a risk factor for adverse psychological and physical health outcomes has elevated interest in interventions to reduce chronic loneliness… Campaigns designed to raise awareness about the growing problem of loneliness and isolation have also been launched in the United Kingdom by five partner organizations (http://www.campaigntoendloneliness.org/about-the-campaign/), in Denmark by the Crown Princess and her Mary Foundation (http://www.maryfonden.dk/en/loneliness)... in Canada by the Canadian Seniors Council (http://www.seniorscouncil.gc.ca/eng/home.shtml), and in the United States by Oprah Winfrey, Sanjay Gupta, and Gayle King with support from Skype (http://www.oprah.com/health/Just-Say-Hello-Fight-Loneliness), the AARP Foundation Initiative on Social Isolation (http://www.aarp.org/aarp-foundation/our-work/isolation/)... These campaigns are essential to raise awareness about and to reduce the stigma surrounding loneliness, but these represent only a first step” (p. 241).

Since loneliness is intertwined in being human, and cannot be eliminated, the goal of researchers and social planners was to find ways to affect its intensity, length, and frequency of occurrence [18]. This chapter provides a review of the various approaches to addressing loneliness. Generally, the various approaches to coping with loneliness may be divided into three categories:

  • Internal work and cognitive restructuring that a person does themselves
  • Self-work that one does with a therapist or group of other people, and
  • Joining a community and getting involved with others.

3.2.1 Addressing Loneliness: The Loop

Hawkley and Cacioppo [25] observed that loneliness is likely to be accompanied by frustration, anger, anxiety, depression, and hypervigilance. Lonely individuals are frequently "on guard", scanning and examining their surroundings for potential threat-evoking signals. This enhanced state of sensory sensitivity and watchfulness are rooted in that "lonely individuals see the social world as a more threatening place, expect more negative social interactions, and remember more negative social information" ([25], p. 220); thus, possibly perpetuating their loneliness. Assisting lonely people, relying on this model, requires the breaking down of this self-reinforcing loop of loneliness by cognitive restructuring which eliminates the negative effect reciprocity [25]. For that, cognitive-behavioral therapeutic interventions are by far more effective than modalities that attempt to improve social skills and social support, as Hawkley and Cacioppo [25] found out.

3.2.2 Mastery

Suanet and van Tilburg [26] highlighted the contribution of mastery, or the belief that one is able to control major conditions affecting one’s life, as an important resource in addressing loneliness. This approach to coping with loneliness utilizes taking action to improve, for instance, existing social relationships, or to create new ones which those with high mastery and self-efficacy can do more easily in order to reduce their loneliness, as compared to those with low levels [25].

3.2.3 Psychotherapy in the Service of the Lonely

It was found that a sense of disconnection contributes to the consumption and abuse of alcohol and drugs, rising violence, and depression, though psychological theories do not give belonging its deserved acknowledgement [27]. It is thus suggested that clinicians have the responsibility to explore this issue with their clients and assist them in fulfilling that need. Animal-assisted therapy (AAT) was observed to gain momentum on college campuses as a way to provide support and company to lonely students [28].

4. Conclusion

To conclude, it is clear that love and intimacy are central to humans, and that loneliness is painful and may occur in intimate relationships. It is incumbent on humans to learn how to fan the fire of love, and guard against factors that may induce loneliness, for there is no loneliness more painful than the one experienced in an intimate relationship.

Author Contributions

The author did all the research work of this study.

Competing Interests

The author has declared that no competing interests exist.

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